Lefty: Pss! Hey, Bud! (Signals Bud to come over)
Bud: Yeah, What is it?
Lefty: Shh! Looky what I have here? (pulls apple from jacket pocket)
Bud: What is it? Lefty: It’s called an apple
Bud: An apple?
Lefty: Shh! Yeah an apple.
Bud: Where did you get it?
Lefty: I have my way. Let’s just say, I own a secret Orchid
Bud: An orchid? But isn’t that illegal?
Lefty: Shh! Quiet down will ya. Once the people try this (Pauses to check no one else is around) apple, They’ll be begging for more.
Bud: This is perfect for our secret dish. We’ll be able to take down Mcdonalds in no time. How much is it?
Lefty: four pennies
Bud: But I’ve only got a hay penny.
Lefty: (Looks around) Okay it’ll do. But be quick about it, and quiet down.
(They exchange fruit, Mcguard spots them. Bud gets away but Lefty is taken by the Mcguard. The Mcguard starts beating Lefty up and pushing him against the wall. Colonel Sanders enters the room )
Mcguard: (turns around and salutes) Colonel!
Colonel: I think that’s enough
Mcguard: Yes Colonel! (Mcguard leaves)
(Colonel walks up to Lefty)
Colonel: Word on the street is someone’s been smuggling illegal foods that do not coincide with the 100 recipes
Lefty: Why, I wouldn’t know anything about it
Colonel: Listen, Lefty. (whispers) I’m as sick of Ronald as anybody else around here, I’m trying to create a new original recipe to succeed Mcdonalds. If you want to live I suggest you tell me where your secret stash is.
Lefty: Look, I don’t tell no one about my secret stash. But, I can help you out. I’ve got a few herbs that would go well with chicken. If we work together, I recon we could make a delicious taste that can’t be beat.
Colonel: Alright, come with me.
(Bud walks up to the door and knocks on it)
Insert name: What’s the password?
Bud: It’s me, Bud?
Insert name: What’s the password?
Bud: For god’s sake, Insert name. Just let me in
Insert name: Not until you say the password
Bud: (sighs) Password1
Insert name: come in
Bud: Give me hand, will you?
(Finnegan squeezes Bud through door)
Bud: Now get me out of this bloody fat suit
Finnegan: This is Kev the kiwi
Kev: Hey man.
Bud: So why did you join the revolutionary force
Kev: I waws herdin ma sheep, but Ronald confiscated thim, so now they’re all did
Finnegan: So what have you got for us Bud: It’s called (pulls apple out) an apple (holds it up, all look upon it with holiness)
Finnegan: It’s just what we need for our secret dish. Come, lets add it to our collection
(All go down stairs)
(Finnegan pulls off sheet revealing all foods. Kev and Bud look in awe)
Finnegan: Okay, so we’ve got bananas, Strawberries, Broccoli, Carrot, Kiwi fruit, thanks for that Kev, Passion fruit, herbs, milo among many other things
Bud: This is great. When people try this they will realise how much better it is than McDonalds. We will take Ronald down, and he will be forgotten
(Notices Ronald behind them)
Bud: Are you thinking what I’m thinking
Finnegan: I think I am
(All run away)
Ronald: (Call on the phone) Hamburglar, Tell the Colonel to dispose of the food. And keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn’t chicken out on his orders.
(Scene with Colonel carrying food to secret lair. Lefty mixing the cauldron)
Colonel: How’s it going?
Lefty: (Takes a taste) It’s finger lickin’ good
Colonel: (Takes a taste) It could be better.
Lefty: What more do you want?
Colonel: I gathered some ingredients that needs disposing. Let’s mix it in.
(Puts food in cauldron)
(Hamburglar enters scene)
Hamburglar: Hello Colonel.
Colonel: Hey Ham… hey! How did you find this place? You wouldn’t tell Ronald would you?
Hamburglar: Of course not. I’m with you ‘till the end of the line. By the way, I’ve burgled the chicken you’ve requested
Colonel: Ah, yes. Just what I’m lookin’ for (mixes in the cauldron. Then has a taste)
Hamburglar: Have you finally done it?
Colonel: I tell ya’ what, you can’t beat that taste
Hamburglar: You’ve just tasted the future of world
(scene with Hamburglar and Colonel walking in the McDonalds Palace)
Hamburglar: With the original recipe complete, we can overthrow Ronald
Colonel: Yes, it’s almost time
(Ronald walks up behind them)
Ronald: Yes, it’s almost time for lunch break
Colonel: Oh, hey Ronald, how are things going with the revolutionaries.
Ronald: I think I’ve got them all. And thanks to you guys, the meals of the people will stay restricted to the 100 recipes. It’s so good to have friends I can trust
Hamburglar: I think he’s on to you
Colonel: Well we better do something quick
(Next Scene, Ronald is at a Mcdonalds restaurant and notices eating apples)
Ronald: what’s this?
Ronald: Where did you get it?
Customer: From Mcdonalds. Where else
Ronald: But Mcdonalds doesn’t sell apple
Customer: Stop clowning around, I’m trying to eat my meal
(Ronald goes up to an employee)
Ronald: Employee, why are you selling apples
Employee: The colonel said they were direct orders from you, sir
Ronald: The Colonel? I’ll have to have a word with him
(Ronald walks off)
(Ronald confronts the Colonel)
Ronald: Hello Colonel
Colonel: Oh hey Ronald
Ronald: I hear you’ve introduced apples against my orders
Colonel: I thought that was what you wanted
Ronald: Say, what’s that smell
Colonel: Oh, pardon me
Ronald: Smells like chicken
Colonel: Must be from that McChicken burger
Ronald: And it smells like Kentucky
Colonel: Well, that is where I live
Ronald: Speaking of which, I haven’t heard anything from Kentucky restaurants in weeks. I hope they’re still running, are they?
Colonel: Yep, better than ever
Ronald: What’s behind this door? I’ve never noticed it before
Colonel: Oh nothing good. You don’t need to go in there
Ronald: What’s the matter Colonel Sanders, Chicken?
(Hamburglar hits Ronald over the head and Ronald falls to the ground)
Colonel: Good job Hamburglar, now it’s time to take over and introduce our original recipe
Hamburglar: What should we do with all the food?
Colonel: Kentucky fry it. Kentucky Fry all of it.
(cut back to restaurant scene)
Professor: So you see. The big companies will just taking over if you don’t try new foods
Janine: That was an amazing story, professor. I think we can learn a lot from that. Don’t you, Bob?
Bob: Yeah, definitely (says while hiding a packet of Mcdonald’s fries under the table and stuffing his mouth with chips)
Janine: Bob, what have you got under the table?
Bob: Nothing (keeps eating chips)
Janine: Those are chips! How could you Bob?
Bob: There was a Mcdonalds right across the road, I couldn’t help myself
Janine: You ducked out during the story? Haven’t you been listening to any of it?
Bob: Yeah, that Hamburglar is bad news
Janine: Oh Bob, you haven’t learned anything. At least try some new foods
Bob: I don’t have to. I already no its not going to be as good. Everybody else knew it, nobody can do it like McDonalds can